Tag Archives: mental-health

part 1: potatoes

i met my very firstlove at first sightat a potato festivalin rural Estoniai might have been 12if you’re reading this, Tõnisthat’s all i rememberHi, I’m Benedikteand this is the beginningof everything that came after youi can’t tell you muchabout what was my childhoodi was too busy overregulatingbut my broken lovelifestarted at around 14and it literallyContinue reading “part 1: potatoes”

dusty contemplations

aren’t we actually to blamefor our most immortal enemydustbeing an issuein the first placewe, humans, as a speciescollectively decidedto inhabit the indoorshave you ever seen dustin the forest, by the sea?i don’t recallor maybe as revengeit wiped my memoryas i wiped it off the windowsillwe trapped ourselvesbetween these four wallswith the same layoutthe same programContinue reading “dusty contemplations”

push to main

oh no, she has leftthe country againtoo many people have saidthat it’s my rightto act according to my own needsand Portugal is always the answerwhatever the questionas of latearound 27.5 yearsi’ve been branching offsomeone else’s master mainnot saying i’m a slavebut my local branch’s originwas set to whoever was upstreamone step aheadwithout questioning the directionandContinue reading “push to main”

the inevitable

i feel like i’m fightingthe worst version of myselfin-between these four wallsi have just begun to call my homehow an awfully stubbornunbendable point of viewwith the tiniest glimpse of hopelost in a pile of desperationwhere nobody listensbut everything saidis wrong, harmful, stupidfor once, my patternof packing up and moving awayto the other side of theContinue reading “the inevitable”

a man’s world

squeezing into 24 hour cycleswhen each and every dayof my 28 is completely differentand after the 24th spinit apparently just gets worsewith every new full moonmore unpredictable, more unhingedas if the biological clock ismaking sure i rememberanother one wastedyou know, a lot of womenfind meaning in raising childrenas told by mento every childless beingas I’mContinue reading “a man’s world”

circle backfire

yesterday was a blastfor all the sensesbut it comes with a priceof going from awaking at 10and just taking care of myselfto barely sleeping 6 hourswith my body feeling likeI’m constantly on the edgei’m not even sure ifof a good or a bad thingthe sleepless nights are coupledwith questionable nourishmentor the lack thereofmy stretched outContinue reading “circle backfire”

wrapped

it’s a wrap! said spotifyand then presented uswith the most predictable giftfrom an internet stalkermy top genre was Dark Popwith top artist Lilyisthatyouyou’ve never heard of herneither had ibut i made an adult friendmy listening age was 19guess who’s taking backher early twentieswith the help(?) of an algorithmshe accompanied me throughmy most prolongeddepressive episode yetmadeContinue reading “wrapped”

bee somewhere eventually

shoot for the starsI’ve only seen them falling latelylast week I saw twowithout counting myselfwhat’s going on up there? well, for the past monthi’ve proven that i’m not betterthan the rest of usi’ve judged people so hardfor having all the time in the worldand not doing anything with ityet here i am, uninspiredrotting between theseContinue reading “bee somewhere eventually”