b3nedikte

way of the spring onion

day 4 of my outingfinally someone noticedme working in the shadowsattracting trouble in the lightthat is bugsin the code and on the ceilingtoday i decidedi will see the worldin my sandalsa kilometres long levadatook us far from our groupreplanting regional bananashopping over waterfallsi discovered my fear of heightswalking exposure therapyby a 500m high clifffor longerContinue reading “way of the spring onion”

life with a side of work

what an odd experienceto meet a handful of peoplefor one weekone of them fortwo and a half dayshike together for 4 hoursand then possibly never meet againin this lifetimei already forgoti’ve experienced this beforeit’s been 4 yearsi remember where they came fromsome of their namesless of their jobsbut none of their dreamswe become friendscolleagues andContinue reading “life with a side of work”

push to main

oh no, she has leftthe country againtoo many people have saidthat it’s my rightto act according to my own needsand Portugal is always the answerwhatever the questionas of latearound 27.5 yearsi’ve been branching offsomeone else’s master mainnot saying i’m a slavebut my local branch’s originwas set to whoever was upstreamone step aheadwithout questioning the directionandContinue reading “push to main”

spring breeze

feeling like my spaceis decreasing once morewithout consideringi haven’t brought myself outsidei could hold a dance classon my balcony if onlyit was 15 degrees warmeryet the only ray of springthat has touched my faceis the reading-mode yellowmaking me forgetto see all the beautyC could never show mebut my vacation startedit’s illegal to work next weekIContinue reading “spring breeze”

three

my grandmother askedlast autumnit’ll be a year soon, right?where does the dust come fromand where does time go?or money,which let’s be honestis why I came hereshamelessly scraping it togetherit’s time to take stockand analyse whymy bank account is empty,but my heart is endlessly fullin the breeze of the approaching Mother Tongue DayI practise my mother’sContinue reading “three”

kolm

mu vanaema küsiseelmine sügisvarsti saab aasta täis, eks?kust tuleb tolmja kuhu kaob aeg?või raha,mida olgem ausadtulingi ju siiaalatult kokku kraapimaon aeg teha kokkuvõtteidja analüüsida, miksmu pangakonto on tühi,aga süda on ääretult täissaabuva Emakeelepäeva tuulesharjutan oma ema keeltja välistan korrakskõik need sisserändajadkellega samastun enimkolme aasta jooksulolen kartnud olla üksiaga hoidnud omaenda kätt kui lennuk kodulinna maandumisrajaligaContinue reading “kolm”

the inevitable

i feel like i’m fightingthe worst version of myselfin-between these four wallsi have just begun to call my homehow an awfully stubbornunbendable point of viewwith the tiniest glimpse of hopelost in a pile of desperationwhere nobody listensbut everything saidis wrong, harmful, stupidfor once, my patternof packing up and moving awayto the other side of theContinue reading “the inevitable”

out of bounds

how many beats per minutedoes it take to turn off the white noiseof my thoughts racingon logs down the cliffhow many stopoversdo i need to make it throughthe next 2 months of winterwithout feeling the heat of the sunthrough the automatic blindsof a building designedto extinguish all fire in my heartthat could remind meof myContinue reading “out of bounds”

a man’s world

squeezing into 24 hour cycleswhen each and every dayof my 28 is completely differentand after the 24th spinit apparently just gets worsewith every new full moonmore unpredictable, more unhingedas if the biological clock ismaking sure i rememberanother one wastedyou know, a lot of womenfind meaning in raising childrenas told by mento every childless beingas I’mContinue reading “a man’s world”

twenty twenty five

i believe the Westesthave got it wrongthey celebrate New Year’s Evepop bottles excitedlyin honor of the next yearwhile in W’Estoniawe celebrate Old Year’s Eveit’s a time to reflecttie up loose endsand cherish the year that’s beenso we can actually start freshthis round startedand ended with wins (/W)but the underwater cavei had to dive out ofContinue reading “twenty twenty five”