i feel like i’m fightingthe worst version of myselfin-between these four wallsi have just begun to call my homehow an awfully stubbornunbendable point of viewwith the tiniest glimpse of hopelost in a pile of desperationwhere nobody listensbut everything saidis wrong, harmful, stupidfor once, my patternof packing up and moving awayto the other side of theContinue reading “the inevitable”
Tag Archives: mental-health
a man’s world
squeezing into 24 hour cycleswhen each and every dayof my 28 is completely differentand after the 24th spinit apparently just gets worsewith every new full moonmore unpredictable, more unhingedas if the biological clock ismaking sure i rememberanother one wastedyou know, a lot of womenfind meaning in raising childrenas told by mento every childless beingas I’mContinue reading “a man’s world”
circle backfire
yesterday was a blastfor all the sensesbut it comes with a priceof going from awaking at 10and just taking care of myselfto barely sleeping 6 hourswith my body feeling likeI’m constantly on the edgei’m not even sure ifof a good or a bad thingthe sleepless nights are coupledwith questionable nourishmentor the lack thereofmy stretched outContinue reading “circle backfire”
wrapped
it’s a wrap! said spotifyand then presented uswith the most predictable giftfrom an internet stalkermy top genre was Dark Popwith top artist Lilyisthatyouyou’ve never heard of herneither had ibut i made an adult friendmy listening age was 19guess who’s taking backher early twentieswith the help(?) of an algorithmshe accompanied me throughmy most prolongeddepressive episode yetmadeContinue reading “wrapped”
bee somewhere eventually
shoot for the starsI’ve only seen them falling latelylast week I saw twowithout counting myselfwhat’s going on up there? well, for the past monthi’ve proven that i’m not betterthan the rest of usi’ve judged people so hardfor having all the time in the worldand not doing anything with ityet here i am, uninspiredrotting between theseContinue reading “bee somewhere eventually”
your local crispie
it took me a month to get a timefor a phone call with local helpexplaining once againwhy and how i ended up herethis time i felt heardcrying on live telephonyand signed up for the waiting listof a lot of people who need the helpthe up and then fighting the windmillit’s welfare, not wellfarewho think myContinue reading “your local crispie”
brain dial
why do you pick up your phonethe second your friend does next to you?you gave up on meso I shall toodistract from the conversation we hadpouring my heart outtook more than a minute put it on the tablescreen down – a sign of respectwhy is it out at all?will your children call?or are they askingContinue reading “brain dial”
i’m sure it will work out
they say while i oscillate betweenfeeling all alone in the worldand wanting to disappearin the corner of a roundtable of people that could be my familywhy don’t you ever say anything?i have nothing to sayaren’t you curious about these people?i don’t ask them how they figured themselves outthe question never occurred to methere are manyContinue reading “i’m sure it will work out”
prison break
this year i’m turning 5my life started when the pandemic shut everyone else’s downhappy birthday?we were forced to stay insidenever go out, never meet upbut i’d been locked up for the past 22 yearsso i had to plan my escapesome say that you reinvent yourself every 12 yearsget a cold shower, break habits, cut tiesbutContinue reading “prison break”
Inspiratsiookean 