life – Inspiratsiookean

three

my grandmother askedlast autumnit’ll be a year soon, right?where does the dust come fromand where does time go?or money,which let’s be honestis why I came hereshamelessly scraping it togetherit’s time to take stockand analyse whymy bank account is empty,but my heart is endlessly fullin the breeze of the approaching Mother Tongue DayI practise my mother’sContinue reading “three”

kolm

mu vanaema küsiseelmine sügisvarsti saab aasta täis, eks?kust tuleb tolmja kuhu kaob aeg?või raha,mida olgem ausadtulingi ju siiaalatult kokku kraapimaon aeg teha kokkuvõtteidja analüüsida, miksmu pangakonto on tühi,aga süda on ääretult täissaabuva Emakeelepäeva tuulesharjutan oma ema keeltja välistan korrakskõik need sisserändajadkellega samastun enimkolme aasta jooksulolen kartnud olla üksiaga hoidnud omaenda kätt kui lennuk kodulinna maandumisrajaligaContinue reading “kolm”

the inevitable

i feel like i’m fightingthe worst version of myselfin-between these four wallsi have just begun to call my homehow an awfully stubbornunbendable point of viewwith the tiniest glimpse of hopelost in a pile of desperationwhere nobody listensbut everything saidis wrong, harmful, stupidfor once, my patternof packing up and moving awayto the other side of theContinue reading “the inevitable”

out of bounds

how many beats per minutedoes it take to turn off the white noiseof my thoughts racingon logs down the cliffhow many stopoversdo i need to make it throughthe next 2 months of winterwithout feeling the heat of the sunthrough the automatic blindsof a building designedto extinguish all fire in my heartthat could remind meof myContinue reading “out of bounds”

a man’s world

squeezing into 24 hour cycleswhen each and every dayof my 28 is completely differentand after the 24th spinit apparently just gets worsewith every new full moonmore unpredictable, more unhingedas if the biological clock ismaking sure i rememberanother one wastedyou know, a lot of womenfind meaning in raising childrenas told by mento every childless beingas I’mContinue reading “a man’s world”

twenty twenty five

i believe the Westesthave got it wrongthey celebrate New Year’s Evepop bottles excitedlyin honor of the next yearwhile in W’Estoniawe celebrate Old Year’s Eveit’s a time to reflecttie up loose endsand cherish the year that’s beenso we can actually start freshthis round startedand ended with wins (/W)but the underwater cavei had to dive out ofContinue reading “twenty twenty five”

Times New Romance

i spent one week in ‘stoniabesides overeating alsorelearning the basicsof fixing what’s brokenand knitting anewi made a sock, just onewith a very special missionI’m looking for my Cinderelonkeep up with the times, folks!I’ve given him enough timeI’m taking mattersonto my own feetit’s one huge sockand there are two conditionsone – it has to fitlike aContinue reading “Times New Romance”

her heart += 3 sizes

hello from a better placethe sleepless nights are overbecause i accelerated too hardand then broke the breakthat’s not sustainable sowe’re not doing that anymoreno i did not forget about youi changed that passwordon day four of my tenureat a job i prayed to findsince the day i left Estoniai am very happy thereand it showsevenContinue reading “her heart += 3 sizes”

circle backfire

yesterday was a blastfor all the sensesbut it comes with a priceof going from awaking at 10and just taking care of myselfto barely sleeping 6 hourswith my body feeling likeI’m constantly on the edgei’m not even sure ifof a good or a bad thingthe sleepless nights are coupledwith questionable nourishmentor the lack thereofmy stretched outContinue reading “circle backfire”

return to Monday

i just had the best dayof the past so blue yeari love Mondays, so muchit’s the day when *things* happenmy very first day at workat the company i really-reallywanted to work for(yet didn’t know about a month ago)with the warmest welcome50 handshakes lateri never managed to setthat arch-nemesis passwordbut the computer is not in danishContinue reading “return to Monday”