squeezing into 24 hour cycles
when each and every day
of my 28 is completely different
and after the 24th spin
it apparently just gets worse
with every new full moon
more unpredictable, more unhinged
as if the biological clock is
making sure i remember
another one wasted
you know, a lot of women
find meaning in raising children
as told by men
to every childless being
as I'm trying to prove
that i too can do it all
while being lovingly sabotaged
by every facet of my being
what a joy it is
to be a woman
during that one week
when i feel i might be
as capable as a man
as for the rest
i disappoint myself
because i don't know how
to embrace the side of myself
that simply cannot
and i'm incapable of admitting it
until I say it out loud
to someone who wouldn't know
and look into the eyes
of people used to seeing me
fake a smile at all times
while I'm tearing up
and apart on the inside
my life choices have guaranteed
that i'm surrounded
by too many men
Inspiratsiookean 