the country of the future

Sulle:

üle lombi ei minda

ainult kaheks nädalaks,

mis nädal aega kohal olles

sai ka rahakotile selgeks tehtud

•

esimesed kaks nädalat

kasutasin oma puhkusepäevi,

mida kunagi välja ei teeninud

harjudes 35-kraadise temperatuurierinevusega

Eestimaa sombusest talvest

otse Brasiilia kesksuvve

•

eesmärgiks näha rohkem Brasiiliat

kui keskmine minuvanune kohalik

viimseid Atlandi brokkolimetsa riismeid

ja lõputuid koopaid selle all

harjutades kätt sisedisainis, sest

LHV mu laenutaotlusele Eestis ei vastanudki

•

jalutasin kaelani vees

kuskil mäekuninga koopasügavuses

kogedes päris pimedust

olles sääskedele ainus valgu(s)allikas

ja lastes seitsmes koses ujudes

veel kõik Euro-mured päriselt ära kanda

•

isikliku kogemuse põhjal

on Brasiilia palju suurem

kallim ja vähem ohtlikum

kui minu naiivne mõistus arvas

või siis oli mu näost näha,

et telefon minuga kaasas ei käinud

sellegipoolest valisin meisterlikult

Airbnb relvabaari kõrval,

kuhu isegi kohalik taksojuht

polnud nõus keset ööd minema

•

Atlandi ookeani läänekallas

viis meid kõige turistilikumale saarele,

kus džiibi- ja paadireisiga sai kogeda

vaid seda, mis seal on: rannad

ja ainsat odavat toodet: alkoholi

•

leidsin ka päris Villa TV majutuse

kontrollisin kõik kaameranurgad üle

aga ainsad kaadrid, mis nad said

on minust higistamas tehnilisel töövestlusel

keset maapealset paradiisi satelliitinternetiga

vastutasuks saime kajakituurid

ja jahisõidu snorgeldama

•

Rio de Janeiro on ilmselt suurim

ja ohtlikem linn, kus ma kunagi käinud olen

aga samas ainus koht reisil,

kus metsloomi nägin

(ahvid soovisid mu toorest banaani

ühte viiest poes müüdavast sordist)

matkal, kus influencerist giid

(seekord päriselt – 40k jälgijat)

meid kahe tunniga 0-800 meetrini vedas

droonikaadrid, videod ja pildid tegi

kes ootab tänase päevani,

et ma tema IG story’sid jagaks

matkast, kus sain päikesepiste

ja pidin proovima kaljulaskumist,

sest teistmoodi lihtsalt

maa peale tagasi ei saanud

•

vaatasin üle Lunastaja Kristuse,

mis turistimasside kõrval polegi nii suur

Suhkrusaia mäe oma magusate vaadete

ja eriti krõbedate hindadega

võitlesin külma ookeani lainetega

ja käisin Rio kõige turvalisemas osas

Vidigal’i favelas, kus hinnalage ei eksisteeri,

aga turvatundel on oma hind

isegi, kui sellega kaasneb lõputu kaos

ja keskmisest kahtlasem taksoteenus

•

see oli 2/6 mu Brasiilia seiklusest

sest karneval algas

alles paar nädalat hiljem

✨to be continued✨

For You:

one does not go over the pond

for two weeks only

which after being there for a week

was also made clear to my wallet

•

the first two weeks

I used my vacation days

which I never earned

getting used to the 35 degree temperature difference

from Estonia’s bleak winter

straight into Brazilian midsummer

•

with a goal to see more of Brazil

than the average local my age

the last straws of the Atlantic broccoli forest

and the endless caves beneath

practicing interior design skills

because the bank never responded

to my loan application in Estonia

•

I walked in water up to my neck

somewhere in the depths of the mountain king’s cave

experiencing real darkness

being the sole source of light and protein for mosquitoes

swam in seven waterfalls

to let the water wash away

all my Euro-worries for reals

•

based on personal experience

Brazil is much bigger

more expensive and less dangerous

than my naive mind thought

or it was written on my face

that I never had my phone on me

nevertheless, I skillfully chose

the Airbnb next to a gun bar

where even the local taxi driver

was not willing to go

•

the west coast of the Atlantic

took us to the most touristic island

where a jeep and boat trip

made you experience what there is: beaches

and the only cheap product: alcohol

•

I also found the real reality show accommodation

and checked all the camera angles

but the only shots they got

were of me sweating at a technical job interview

in the middle of paradise on Earth with satellite internet

in return we got kayak tours

and a yacht ride to go snorkelling

•

Rio de Janeiro is likely the biggest

and the most dangerous city

I’ve ever been to

but also the only place on the trip

where I saw wildlife

(monkeys wanted my raw banana

one of the five types sold)

on a hike where the influencer guide

(for real this time – 40k followers)

dragged us from 0-800 meters in two hours

produced drone footage, videos and pictures

who until this day expects

me to share his IG stories

from a hike where I got a sunstroke

and had to try rappelling

because there was no other way

to return to Earth

•

I checked out Christ the Redeemer

who is not so big next to the tourist masses

Sugarloaf Mountain with its sweet views

and especially crispy high prices

I fought the waves of the cold ocean

and went to the safest part of Rio

Vidigal favela with no price ceiling

but security has its own price

even if it involves endless chaos

and a more sketchy than average taxi service

•

this was 2/6 of my Brazilian adventure

because the carnival started

only a few weeks later

✨to be continued✨